Oldies but goodies

• Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.
• If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.
• Why carry a gun? Because a cop is too heavy.
• America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the Mall.
• When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.
• A reporter did a human-interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and asked him why he carried a .45, the Ranger responded with, "Because they don't make a .46."
• An armed man will kill an unarmed man with monotonous regularity.
• The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented on his wearing his sidearm. “Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you expecting trouble?” “No Ma'am”, said the Sheriff, “If I were expecting trouble, I would have brought my rifle.”
• Beware the man who only has one gun. He probably knows how to use it!
• A man was once asked by a lady visiting if he had a gun in the house, to which he answered that he did. She said, “Well, I certainly hope it isn't loaded!” To which he said, “Of course it is loaded.” She then asked, “Are you that afraid of someone evil coming into your house?” His reply was, “No not at all. I am not afraid of the house catching fire either, but I have fire extinguishers around, and THEY ARE ALL LOADED.”
• The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental.